50 Ways To Get Rid Of Sheena
by Karana Belle
Summary: apple hates sheena soo much that she wants to write a book on how to get rid of him! and what is Shu doing? Chapter 2 up! R&R!
1. Chapter 1

Karana Belle: okay, I am writing another story! And it isn't a list! I promise! * Shows hands, where none of the fingers are crossed * Any way! I wanted to write another story but I didn't have any idea what to write about so I ask my little sister to help. Well because we had our cousins over and one of them annoys us really bad, so she said "how about 'how to get rid of annoying cousins'. I thought about all the characters in the games but I didn't know of any cousins ^^, so I said what about Sheena! Almost everyone in the first and second game hates Sheena. So here I am to write this wonderful story! * Smiles *  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Suikoden! Now excuse cry and me while I go and cry my heart out! * Can hear crying in background *  
  
50 Ways To Get Rid Of Sheena  
  
^^, ^^, ^^, ^^, ^^, ^^, ^^,  
  
Chapter One  
  
@-@  
  
It was a normal day for everyone in Oceania castle, well not really since not one of the 108 stars are normal. Take Tony for example, he talks to his plants! And then take Simione for example; he is obsessed with his rose brooch! That's just scary!  
  
Shu and Apple were sitting in Shu's room/office thinking. And they were thinking, and thinking, and thinking, and I think we get the point. You might think that they are doing something for the better good of everyone. They are except it's not good for one person...Sheena.  
  
I think I'll tell you what they are thinking for. Well it all started this morning as Apple was working on something very important. Well at least it was important to her. She was reading her beloved romance book, the one that she had read at least a dozen times.  
  
While Apple was reading, her short light brown hair hanging over her face, there was a knock at the door and being so engrossed in her book she said, "come in". So in came everyone's favorite person, not. Sheena came in with a big smile on his face, which shrunk when he saw that Apple wasn't even paying attention. So being the attention fanatic he was he snatched the book out of Apple's hands.  
  
"John hugged Kathryn close, lowering his head to hers...this is disgusting. Why not instead of reading about it, do it?" after reading part of the book out loud Sheena smirked.  
  
It took a while for Apple to come back from her fantasy book world and to notice that Sheena had taken her book from her. "SHEENA! GIVE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW!" Apple was mad ' how dare he take her book from her! Her beloved book!' Apple jumped up and grabbed the chair that she was recently sitting on enjoying a very good book. 'And right when it was at the good part too!'  
  
Seeing the chair above Apple's head and the blood lust in her eyes Sheena ran out of the room, book still in hand. You could probably say that Apple was acting like a protective lioness would act if her cubs were threatened.  
  
Apple dropped the chair on the ground again and ran out after Sheena wanting her 'beloved' back in her arms. They ran up and down the stairs and halls Sheena running for his life, Apple running to regain her 'precious'. People walking the halls jumped out of the way of the predator and her prey. Even one guy said, "They are faster than a speeding bullet."  
  
Sheena was only stopped when Shu, a tall man with long, silky, black hair, saw him and said "Sheena, I need to talk to you." So Sheena did stop and a couple seconds later Apple the killer came running and saw Sheena the book STILL in his hands.  
  
"There you are! NOW GIVE ME MY BOOK!" Apple was about to strangle Sheena but Shu went in her way. So naturally Apple stopped in mid jump and fell to the floor with a loud "OWW!"  
  
Apple got up rubbing her sore but. "Why did you get in my way? I was going to kill him!"  
  
"I got in your way so that you wouldn't be guilty of murder. Because I am sure you don't want to have to go to jail do you? I was just saving you from the humiliation." Shu smiled, still standing in Apple's way to get to Sheena.  
  
"Oh. That makes sense." Apple put a finger to her mouth. So then Shu reached behind him and took the book out of Sheena's hands, giving it to Apple. Apple, getting her 'beloved' back, hugged the book tightly looking like a little child with a present.  
  
Shu smiled 'she looks so cute like that. * sigh * if only she would pay attention to me.'  
  
Sheena, noticing that Apple wasn't in killer mode, anymore tried to get Apple to go on a date with him. "So... Apple are you busy tonight?"  
  
"Yes, I am."  
  
"Tomorrow night?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"The night AFTER tomorrow night?"  
  
"Yes!" Apple was starting to get annoyed.  
  
"Then how about Saturday night?"  
  
"Ye...um..." Apple hesitated 'I don't have anything to do that night and I can't lie, it would kill me. Man!'  
  
"She is busy Saturday. She has to help me with something." Shu spoke up.  
  
Apple looked over at Shu and mouthed 'thank you.' Shu nodded.  
  
"Oh...well then I guess I'll go see if Rina wants to go! Bye!" Sheena went off in search of the very unlucky Rina.  
  
Shu and Apple stood where Sheena left them in silence, both in their own thoughts. Apple was still hugging her book tightly. Suddenly Apple's face lit up. "Hey Shu I have a great idea! Come on!" Apple grabbed Shu's wrist and dragged him towards his own office.  
  
Getting into the room Apple noticed that Shu looked a little flustered, like he was sick or something. "Are you alright Shu? You're all red..."  
  
Shu, had been blushing, blushed even harder. "Nothing!"  
  
"Okay..." Apple said, clearly not believing but letting the subject drop. "Well any ways I want you to help me make a book!"  
  
"What type of book?" Shu was really hoping that it wouldn't be romance because he sucked at writing that type. One time he tried to, when he was younger, but everyone said it sucked, EVEN his mother.  
  
"It's going to be called... 50 Ways To Get Rid Of Sheena! We could get millions off of it!" Apple laughed imagining million potch surrounding her.  
  
"Oh okay. But then we have to come up and write ways to get rid of him. You know that right?" Shu just wanted to make sure she did because he knew that stuff didn't just pop into your head at once.  
  
"Of course I do. So are you in?" Apple looked at him pleadingly. Shu, who couldn't resist that face nodded. "Yeah! Well lets get thinking!"  
  
So here we are, where we left them, still thinking, and thinking, and thinking.  
  
"I don't know an idea. But we mustn't give up! Come on Shu keep on thinking!"  
  
Shu looked up groggily having been woken up from his nap, drool on his face. 'This is going to be a looong day. * Sigh *  
  
Karana: okay I need your help out there! Review and give me any ideas that you might have because I don't have any! (Sad I know! ~ o ~) any way REVIEW PLEASE! 


	2. Chapter 2

Karana Belle: well at least I got ONE review for this fic. Reviewer:  
  
Bloody-Stiletto—once again I need to thank you for giving me some ideas for this fic, it really helped me.  
  
50 Ways To Get Rid Of Sheena  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Thinking can be really boring, especially if you didn't want anything to do with an idea in the first place. That was how Shu was feeling at the moment, on the verge of sleep. He really didn't want to help Apple with some book; he wanted to do something, ANYTHING else!  
  
"Hey, Shu." He quickly looked up, and he saw Apple, sitting there with a pen poised over a blank sheet of paper.  
  
"Yes." He answered groggily, and much to his annoyance Apple didn't notice.  
  
"Have you thought of an idea yet?" when Shu shook his head she sighed and looked out the window, and it just happened to be at a moment when Sid was flying by the window. "Hey, I have an idea now!"  
  
Shu just rolled his eyes; he had been trying to go to sleep again. Apple smiled brightly and turned to Shu, "The first idea will be.... Pay Sid 1000 potch to get rid of Sheena! Isn't it brilliant?" The older man nodded, he had to admit the idea was okay. 'Now all I have to do is use that idea in real life. Then maybe Sheena will be gone in real life.'  
  
Apple yawned, "Well I guess that one idea is good enough for today." Standing up she pushed in her chair, "See you tomorrow Shu." Then she exited through the door and left Shu all by himself. Bad idea, for it seemed he was thinking of a way to get Sid's attention. He reached into a drawer, pulling out a brown bag that jingled as if coins were in there...  
  
,,,  
  
It was sunset and Shu was walking towards the lone tower by the library, hopefully Sid would be there. When he got to the top sure enough Sid was sitting of the edge. Shu timidly made his way towards the winger.  
  
"...The grim reaper comes at midnight...Huh, Huh." Shu stopped in his tracks as the winger turned around, the little sun that was left glinting of white teeth.  
  
"Hello Sid, I have a job for you..."  
  
"...only work for certain amount...Huh, Huh..." Sid smirked at the shaking of the strategist. Shu pulled out the brown bag that he had earlier and held it out.  
  
"Will 1000 potch be enough?"  
  
"Yuh...enough..." Shu smirked not that differently than Sid, his plan was going to work. It had to.  
  
"Good, than dispose of Sheena." Shu handed over the potch, and turned around to go back to bed, he would sleep peacefully tonight. When the strategist had left Sid flew down towards a lone figure walking towards Leona's Tavern...  
  
'''  
  
Sid hid in the shadows right beside the Tavern doors, watching as Sheena came walking towards the same spot. But just at that moment the door banged open showing a very drunk Viktor, holding a glass that was half full. Viktor stopped and looked in the shadows where Sid was hiding.  
  
"Chaco?" when Sid didn't say anything Viktor grabbed Sid's arm pulling him in the light. "Eh, it is you Chaco! So how have you been?" Viktor's words were slurring, and Sid was trying to get away, but to no avail. And Sheena walked by, raising his eyebrow at Viktor's mistake. But he shrugged; after all he had some women to talk to.  
  
'''  
  
The next morning Shu woke up with a smile on his face, "No more Sheena." His smile got bigger and he got up, but then a scream tore through the castle, well more like a yell.  
  
"SHEENA!"  
  
Shu blinked and right at that moment there was a tap on his window. Looking over he saw Sid, so he opened the window, "Why did someone just yell Sheena, Sid?"  
  
Sid smiled, "...Couldn't get rid of him...Viktor..."  
  
Shu frowned and sighed, "Then where's the money?" Sid just kept on smiling.  
  
"...Huh, Huh...Viktor...buy drinks..." and with that Sid flew away, looking for some more trouble to do.  
  
Shu just sank back into his bed, hoping that it was a nightmare.  
  
Karana: okay, after a long wait we have another chapter, thanks again to Bloody-Stiletto for giving me this idea. REVIEW PLEASE! 


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